Describe an incident that will enlighten the audience.
Last month Larry and I went to a train auction. Not toy trains. Real railroad cars. Larry had no intention of buying them but he enjoyed hanging out with guys who did really buy trains. He wanted me to come along with him to share the excitement. I actually was bored but it was clear that my brother was in all his glory inspecting the trains beforehand, chatting up the engineers who were there, and then watching the bidding.
If you are religious this is the place to make a religious statement.
Larry is in a good place now. I know he's with our mom and dad and I know he'll be watching over all of us.
Say what you will most miss about the person.
I'm going to miss Larry's Sunday morning phone calls -- we spoke to each other every Sunday morning for as long as I can remember.
Gently and humorously say what you won't miss.
Now that he's gone, I hope I don't start feeling a need to go to railroad car auctions.
Put your feelings into one or two sentences.
I feel so lost and so bereaved right now. I can't imagine going about my daily life without my big brother.
Say how his life has touched and influenced you.
Because of Larry I feel guilty if I don't take a shower every day, I feel guilty if I drive in to the city and don't take a railroad train in, and I learned how to be a good husband and a playful dad by watching him.
Mention what you have learned from the person, what he has taught you by example.
In addition to extreme cleanliness Larry taught me to be a stand-up guy and take responsibility for whatever needed to be done. By observing his life I learned how to be a decent family man and a hard working employee. Thank you, Larry.
Death tends to get us to think about life. We think about what is really important and what we most value. Talk about the values of the deceased.
As you know, Larry really valued hard work. He cared about trying hard and he put all his energy into everything he did, whether it was raking the leaves, going to a meeting for work, or preparing a sandwich.
Say how his death has touched and influenced you.
Larry went through a couple of months of serious illness and he never once complained. Instead, he cheered up everyone who came to visit. He told us not to feel sorry for him. He wanted us to tell him jokes. I now have a huge repertoire of knock-knock jokes.
Mention any family members or close friends who deserve recognition.
My nephews, Howard and Gary, and of course my sister-in-law, Linda, are amazing people and deserve so much recognition for all they did during these past months. I know you join me in wishing Linda, Howard, and Gary an easy road through bereavement and a life filled with good memories.
Again, mention how you feel -- sad? Lost? Relieved? Empty? Exhausted?
This has all happened so quickly it's hard to believe that at Thanksgiving dinner none of us thought about Larry's death or illness. I think I am still stunned.
This is the place for a particular quotation or bible passage or brief poem. The reading you select should:
Describe how you are feeling, or
Describe how the deceased led his life, or
Offer courage and inspiration to the listeners.
You have my permission to quote from Solace: Finding Your Way Through Grief and Learning to Live
Again. Here are some sample quotes you may wish to use. I've slightly modified and changed some words -- feel free to do the same -- to better suit your circumstance.